Child Custody And Being A Good Parent
July 8, 2022When parents separate, one of the most important decisions they have to make is who gets custody of the children – a difficult process for all involved.
Parents can work cooperatively with their lawyers and come up with a parenting time agreement. However, in some instances, parents cannot come to an agreement and the courts must get involved to find a way for the parents to share custody, or in some instances, where warranted, assign custody to one parent.
So how do they do this? How does a court determine who should get child custody?
Well, in all cases, the court keeps one primary factor in mind: “what is in the best interest of the child?”
Whether you and your ex-spouse cooperatively came up with a mutually acceptable agreement or whether the court was involved in determining the parenting time, the most important thing is; How can you be actively involved with your children after your divorce and work towards being a better parent?
Let’s explore some of the ways you can work towards being a better parent while navigating child custody matters.
Table of Contents
Being A Good Parent After A Divorce
Show Willingness To Work With Your Ex-Spouse
While you might not like your ex, it is important to remember that they form a big part of your child’s life. Always be willing to work with your ex for the best interest of your children. The less conflict there is, the better your children will thrive.
So don’t nitpick on every single detail. A little kindness and maturity goes a long way, when it comes to dealing with your ex.
Improve Your Communication
Although it may seem impossible, having peaceful and consistent communication with your ex is important for a smooth co-parenting experience.
Communication works best when you are able to maintain a civil, business-like tone in your conversations. Transitioning to this type of communication is not always easy, but it helps to establish a conflict-free relationship based on respect, and cordiality.
Make Transitions And Visitations A Little Bit Easier
Moving children between households, whether for a few days or just for the weekend can be difficult. While these transitions may be unavoidable, there are things you can do to make children feel comfortable in both homes.
- You can help them anticipate new changes: always remind your kids they will be leaving for your ex’s house the day before.
- Always pack in advance: Help your children pack in advance so that they don’t forget things they’ll miss. You can pack their special toys, photographs, or any other familiar reminders that will make the transition a little easier.
- Opt for drop-offs rather than picking up your child- To avoid curtailing or interrupting special moments, avoid picking up your child from your ex. Instead, allow the other parent to drop off the child.
Pay Child Support On Time
If you are finding it hard to pay child support, you can always contact the court that issued the child support order for modification. Gather enough evidence and documentation to prove that you can no longer afford to pay for child support rather than just avoiding paying. This goes a long way in showing that you are responsible and you actually care for your child.
Be Flexible
While consistency is an important virtue for both parents, it is also important to be flexible in your routines. Always give the other parent the benefit of doubt when scheduling visitations.
This may mean being open to new co-parenting arrangements or switching visitation dates, if necessary. Try to remain consistent and stick to your schedule, but if you ex requests for a change that you can easily make, don’t turn them down. Remember, one day you might be the one who needs that favor.
Finally,
Separation and divorce is always tricky but it does not always have to have a negative effect on your children’s well-being or outcomes. If both of you are committed to putting your differences aside and to being the best parents you can be, your children will not only be happy but also flourish into healthy and well-adjusted kids.
